Word: Proximity

Sentence:

Proximity changes what we understand, and what we understand changes how we lead.

Passage:

One of the things I learned about leadership is that distance changes what you can see.

At Sullivan High School, the principal’s office had been in the same place for more than ninety years, tucked inside the main office on the first floor. It was where people expected the principal to be. But nearly 60 percent of our classrooms were on the second floor, and I kept thinking about what I might miss if I spent most of my day behind that door.

So I moved the office upstairs. We turned the old principal’s office into what we called the Team Room, a space for parent meetings, teacher teams, and other gatherings, and I moved into a much simpler office in the middle of the second floor. The office had glass windows facing the hallway, which made it feel less like a place to disappear into and more like another part of the life of the school.

It probably did not seem like a big decision, but it changed the way I experienced the school. I was closer to classrooms, students moving through the halls, and teachers planning lessons, solving problems, celebrating something that had gone well, or dealing with something that had not. My office was mostly a place I used before and after school. During the day, you were much more likely to find me walking the halls, sitting in classrooms, or joining a team meeting.

I wanted to be close enough to know the stories, the successes, and the struggles before they became an email, a data point, or a problem someone brought to me.

The more time I spent around people, the more I understood how often our first impression was incomplete. A student who looked disengaged might have been up half the night taking care of younger siblings. A teacher who seemed frustrated might have been carrying something difficult at home. A parent who came into the building angry might have spent years feeling like schools had not listened to them.

When we are far away from people, it is pretty easy to fill in the blanks ourselves. Being close gives people a chance to fill those blanks in for us.

That became a big part of how I tried to lead. I made it a priority to attend the meetings of the teams I was responsible for and to spend time in classrooms because I did not think I could really support teaching without being close to where teaching was happening. I wanted students to see me in the hallway often enough that talking to the principal did not automatically mean they were in trouble. We eventually moved my vice principal into the first floor hallway for the same reason. We wanted leadership to be visible and accessible, part of the life of the school instead of separated from it.

There is a real temptation in leadership to retreat. The emails pile up. Reports need to get finished. There are meetings, budgets, evaluations, and a hundred other things that can pull us away from people. Sometimes closing the door is the only way to get something done. But if we are not careful, we can spend so much time managing the work that we slowly move away from the people the work is supposed to serve.

For me, being around people was also where I got my energy. I liked hearing what teachers were trying, what students were excited about, and what families wanted the school to become. The more I knew about the people, the better I understood the school, and that helped me make better decisions about where we needed to go.

Nearly five years after leaving the role, I still get reminders that those everyday interactions mattered. A former student sends me a birthday email and brings up songs we used to talk about in the hallway. Former teachers text me pictures of their classrooms. Students I have not seen in years reach out for a recommendation or advice about a job.

I do not think those relationships lasted because I always had the right answer or because I was some great leader. I made plenty of mistakes. I think they lasted because we spent enough time around each other to know each other beyond the role.

That is probably the bigger lesson for me about proximity. It is not only about schools or leadership. It happens in our families, our workplaces, our friendships, and our communities. The farther away we are from people, the easier it is to simplify them. We can reduce someone to a behavior, an opinion, a mistake, a job title, or a label. But the closer we get, the more complicated and connected people become, and I think that is a good thing.

We begin to understand the story behind what we see, and when we understand the story, we usually respond differently.

Your Turn:

Who or what might you understand differently if you got a little closer?

Help us grow The Match community! One word. One reflection. One person at a time.

Share this with a friend, family member, colleague, principal, assistant principal, teacher… Copy and paste this subscription link and send it to someone encouraging them to join The Match Newsletter here: https://chad-h-thomas.kit.com/

Read past Match posts here: chadhthomas.com