Word: Respond

Sentence:

Most of life is shaped by how we respond to what happens to us.

Passage:

Life is going to hand us some difficult things. Setbacks, disappointments, and experiences we never asked for. Some change the direction of our lives, while others simply make getting through the day harder. I’ve come to believe that how we respond to these experiences has as much to do with who we become as the experiences themselves.

I’ve learned a great deal about this from the students I’ve served over the years. Many were handed a pretty tough deck of cards before they ever walked through our school doors. Yet I’ve watched so many find their way through difficult circumstances and go on to build meaningful lives.

I remember a new student who had barely been at Sullivan a week before getting into a fight. My gut reaction was that this student needed to go. We had worked too hard to create a safe and supportive school culture to let someone disrupt it.

But as I grew in my leadership, I learned that every action has a source. When I took the time to sit with students and listen to their stories, I often discovered that the fight, the anger, or even the lack of interest in school was a response to something that had happened long before they walked through our doors.

And there I was, ready to react to their reaction without understanding where it came from.

That didn’t mean ignoring consequences or accountability. It meant understanding the person behind the behavior and helping them find a different way to respond. And in the process, I was learning to do the same.

I still struggle with this. Sometimes my first instinct is to defend myself, explain my position, or fix something immediately. But reacting and responding aren’t the same thing. Sometimes we need to sit in the discomfort a little longer, listen a little more, and give ourselves time to understand what’s really happening.

Think about the person you’ve become. My guess is that much of who you are was shaped by something you had to work through or chose to do differently.

We don’t always get to choose what happens to us. But every new experience gives us another opportunity to decide how, and when, we respond.

Your Turn:

How do you slow yourself down before responding to a complex situation or someone in distress? What helps you pause long enough to understand what’s really happening?

I always appreciate hearing what a word brings up for you. Don’t hesitate to comment or email me. I’m here!

Read past Match posts here: chadhthomas.com

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