The Match: Presence
Let’s light the Match!
Each Week: One Word. One Sentence. One Passage.
Word: Presence
Sentence:
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can offer is to be fully present.
Passage:
When I first became a principal, I thought presence meant being everywhere, all the time. Over time, I learned it’s less about being seen everywhere and more about being fully there where you are.
When you’re with a student, you’re not thinking about the next meeting. You’re listening. You’re noticing. You’re simply there. When you’re with your team, you’re not checking your email. Presence says, I’m here, right now, with you.
It shows in your eye contact. In the pause before you answer. And you can’t fake it. In a world that rewards speed, presence slows us down just enough to connect. That’s what moves the work forward.
Your Turn:
Where are you being asked to offer presence instead of answers?
Tell me how this shows up in your leadership—I’m here for the conversation.
8 Comments
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8 Comments
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on August 15, 2025 at 7:12 am
I agree 99%. There are exceptions, one being the “parking lot” or “drop off line”. I’ve seen one school principal who was very effective fail in large part because they did not take advantage of the opportunity of being seen every morning greeting people: not the students, but the parents. One of my predecessors who was famously corrupt (the stories I heard after their tenure continues to be jaw dropping), managed to keep their job for a very, very long time in large part because they were seen in the parking lot every single day and used the opportunity to build relationships. They were untouchable because the parents thought they were a “good” principal. One of the best moves by an elementary school principal is to be seen every morning by the parents. Parents don’t care about “presence” as much because they have been trained by society to expect symbolic, political leadership.
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on August 15, 2025 at 4:59 pm
Thanks for sharing Mike! This is interesting, and such a great example. Those everyday moments, like drop-off or the parking lot, really can shape how a community sees its leader. How have you seen principals use those touchpoint in ways that felt especially genuine?
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on August 15, 2025 at 7:19 am
One of my biggest life lessons as a principal was when a teacher said the following: Sometimes I see you in the hallway, and you look so stressed. You are looking past everyone and at whatever is on your mind. I know how busy you are. And I don’t care. When you see me in the hallways, I want you to say “hello” and make eye-contact. I want you to smile at me. I want to know that at that moment, I am important to you.
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Wow! Anna, what a powerful moment and brave staff member to be this candid with you. It shows your true reflection as a leader that you took that conversation and adapted.
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on August 15, 2025 at 1:18 pm
First day as a principal, I walked the entire building and my dynamic math teacher said, “Wow, the principal on the second floor, that’s new.” He wanted me to hear the statement and the statement said so much about what had been going and and what had not being going on. Everyday, my assistant principal and myself would wrap the school grounds at dismissal and the parents loved and appreciated our presence. That is when we had some of our best conversations also, when we met at the corner each day. Parents and others see your presence before they see or feel your heart so they need to see you first and then get to know that your heart is in it.
When I’m present, most of the time I have to act because I try to lead by the motto of “don’t ask anyone to do anything you are not willing to do” so I show them we are in this together.
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I love this story! It really captures how presence can shift a school’s culture. And shows that perhaps previous leaders were absent in many ways. Those corner conversations sound like they became just as valuable as anything happening inside the building, and I can hear the heart behind the way you showed up.
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on August 16, 2025 at 7:33 pm
I also think of presence as being completely present with regard to a specific problem. Being focused and deep in the weeds enough to think about the problem at many different levels and from many different angles. When one is present in the face of a really high-impact problem, they can truly be partners in the solution, because sometimes delegation simply won’t work without providing some scaffold toward the vision.
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I appreciate this take. It’s true some problems require us to be deeply present, not just to people but to the complexity itself. Sometimes I think people grew frustrated with me at times cause I wanted to sit in the problem for awhile, and get on the “balcony” and look around before making a decision. I’m curious, when you think about your own leadership, what helps you stay in that space instead of rushing to delegation or rushing to an answer, and how do you determine which problems to focus on when?
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I agree 99%. There are exceptions, one being the “parking lot” or “drop off line”. I’ve seen one school principal who was very effective fail in large part because they did not take advantage of the opportunity of being seen every morning greeting people: not the students, but the parents. One of my predecessors who was famously corrupt (the stories I heard after their tenure continues to be jaw dropping), managed to keep their job for a very, very long time in large part because they were seen in the parking lot every single day and used the opportunity to build relationships. They were untouchable because the parents thought they were a “good” principal. One of the best moves by an elementary school principal is to be seen every morning by the parents. Parents don’t care about “presence” as much because they have been trained by society to expect symbolic, political leadership.
Thanks for sharing Mike! This is interesting, and such a great example. Those everyday moments, like drop-off or the parking lot, really can shape how a community sees its leader. How have you seen principals use those touchpoint in ways that felt especially genuine?
One of my biggest life lessons as a principal was when a teacher said the following: Sometimes I see you in the hallway, and you look so stressed. You are looking past everyone and at whatever is on your mind. I know how busy you are. And I don’t care. When you see me in the hallways, I want you to say “hello” and make eye-contact. I want you to smile at me. I want to know that at that moment, I am important to you.
Wow! Anna, what a powerful moment and brave staff member to be this candid with you. It shows your true reflection as a leader that you took that conversation and adapted.
First day as a principal, I walked the entire building and my dynamic math teacher said, “Wow, the principal on the second floor, that’s new.” He wanted me to hear the statement and the statement said so much about what had been going and and what had not being going on. Everyday, my assistant principal and myself would wrap the school grounds at dismissal and the parents loved and appreciated our presence. That is when we had some of our best conversations also, when we met at the corner each day. Parents and others see your presence before they see or feel your heart so they need to see you first and then get to know that your heart is in it.
When I’m present, most of the time I have to act because I try to lead by the motto of “don’t ask anyone to do anything you are not willing to do” so I show them we are in this together.
I love this story! It really captures how presence can shift a school’s culture. And shows that perhaps previous leaders were absent in many ways. Those corner conversations sound like they became just as valuable as anything happening inside the building, and I can hear the heart behind the way you showed up.
I also think of presence as being completely present with regard to a specific problem. Being focused and deep in the weeds enough to think about the problem at many different levels and from many different angles. When one is present in the face of a really high-impact problem, they can truly be partners in the solution, because sometimes delegation simply won’t work without providing some scaffold toward the vision.
I appreciate this take. It’s true some problems require us to be deeply present, not just to people but to the complexity itself. Sometimes I think people grew frustrated with me at times cause I wanted to sit in the problem for awhile, and get on the “balcony” and look around before making a decision. I’m curious, when you think about your own leadership, what helps you stay in that space instead of rushing to delegation or rushing to an answer, and how do you determine which problems to focus on when?