Word: Choice

Sentence:

Your identity isn’t an inheritance; it’s the sum total of the small choices you make each day.

Passage:

We start choosing earlier than we realize.

At first, it feels simple. Who you sit with. What you try. What you quit. What you keep coming back to. But those small decisions stack up quietly, like bricks. And one day you look up and realize you’ve built a life.

When I was a kid, I was sure I was going to be a professional baseball player. So I chose it. The tee in the garage. The hours of swings when my friends were out partying. The kind of choices where you feel what you’re giving up in real time. I didn’t make it to the pros, but I did get to play college baseball. And looking back, the through line is obvious: my choices followed what I loved.

I wasn’t always conscious of it then. I just felt pulled. But that’s the thing about choice. It works whether you’re paying attention or not. It becomes your direction even when you don’t have the language for it yet.

Later, as a teacher, the choices didn’t stop. They just changed clothes.

There were days I could have taken the easy route. Hang out in the lounge. Keep my head down. Stick to the script. But more often than not, I chose something else. I stayed in my room. I planned. I made time for students who didn’t feel like they belonged in the cafeteria, and came to my room instead.

My purpose and my choices lined up again, and I could feel my identity shifting, not because of a title, but because of what I practiced.

Then I became a principal, and the choices multiplied.

Leadership is a thousand decisions a day. Some loud, some invisible. Who gets listened to. Who gets invited into the room. What gets addressed quickly and what gets delayed until later. Texting instead of being present with your people.

That’s where choice gets real. Not in the big speeches, but in the small moments that create culture.

My first mentor used to tell me, “You win or lose by the way you choose.” He’d follow it up with, “You’re not born a winner or a loser. You’re born a chooser.”

I didn’t understand it when I was younger. I do now. Because I’ve seen how quickly small choices become a reputation. How repeated choices become a pattern. And how patterns become a person.

As a leader, I have a choice every day to be present, truly present, for those I serve. Not just physically in the building, but emotionally available. Steady. Clear. Human. The truth is, people don’t experience our intentions, they only experience our choices.

So if you’re waiting for a moment when you finally “become” the leader you want to be, here’s the truth: you’re already becoming. The question is whether your daily choices are building the identity you want to live inside.

Your Turn:

What choice has been defining you lately, for better or worse?

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